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Dr Anthony Fauci

One thing about our Dr. Anthony Fauci is that he really does have something for everyone: If you don’t like his position, just wait a bit — he’ll change it.

Just consider face masks. Fauci now says that everybody should wear one in public, that he does as a “symbol” of right action, and that it shows “respect for another person.” But what also shows respect is telling the truth. And how does the good doctor measure up there?

You be the judge. First we had March Fauci: “No, right now, people should not be wearing — there’s no reason to be walking around with a mask,” he told CBS’s 60 Minutes on March 8.

“When you’re in the middle of an outbreak, wearing a mask might make people feel a little bit better, and it might even block a droplet. But it’s not providing the perfect protection that people think that it is,” Fauci 3.0 continued. “And often there are unintended consequences; people keep fiddling with the mask, and they keep touching their face.”

Interviewer Dr. Jon LaPook then asked, “Then, can you get some schmutz, sort of, staying inside there?”

“Of course, of course,” Fauci responded (video below).


But then there’s Early May Fauci, who may (and actually does) say differently. He stated during remote Senate testimony a couple of weeks back that people should wear masks whenever they can’t socially distance. Citing a CDC recommendation, Fauci 4.0 said you should get “some sort of a covering.” But here’s the money line:

“We don’t want to call it a mask because back then we were concerned we would be taking masks away from the healthcare providers” (video below).


Fauci continued, saying that “some sort of mask-like facial covering, I think for the time being, should be a very regular part of how we prevent the spread of infection.”

“And, in fact, right here where I’m sitting in Washington, D.C., you can see many people out there with masks on, which gives me some degree of comfort that people are taking this very seriously.” But is Fauci taking it seriously?

Really, the whole thing sounds like a Jackie Mason routine:

Don’t wear a mask, at least not really a mask; it can be sorta’ like a mask, but we won’t call it a mask. Let’s say it’s a facial covering, and maybe it won’t be effective, but it makes us feel better. Maybe a droplet will get through, but we’re not worried about it. You might get a lil’ schmutz in there, but your sort-of-like-a-mask has to be your best friend, and what’s a lil’ schmutz between friends? And maybe you’ll get sick, but we don’t know, but it’s a sign of respect. And what’s a lil’ change in opinion between interviews?!

So now there’s Late May Fauci saying we should wear masks whenever in public (video below), whatever that means. Does hiking the Appalachian Trail qualify? Camping in the Yukon?


Of course, Fauci 5.0 has a lot of company in mask Machiavellianism, with the CDC flip-flopping and also the World Health Organization, the WHO, which never seems to know what, where, when, why, or how. But the real point is that Early May Fauci (4.0) seemed to be confessing that Fauci 3.0 was lying (lucky for him they’re not the same guy) because he wanted masks saved for healthcare workers.

So the question is: If he was lying then, how can we be sure he isn’t lying now? Can we trust any Fauci iteration?

Anyway, in honor of Fauci’s, uh, well-roundedness, I present the following poem I discovered (inside my head):

The Doctor Who Cried “Masks!”

Monday Fauci won’t with fear instill us;
Tuesday Fauci swears the Virus™ will kill us.
Wednesday Fauci says no on the mask;
Thursday Fauci says “Don one — it’s a holy task.”
Friday Fauci says stay closed till fall.
Saturday Fauci warns, “Open up, or the economy will stall.”
Sunday Fauci worries with a tear:
“Will this pandemic end my career?!”

Oh, Fauci, Fauci, you’re making me grouchy!

Image: screenshot from YouTube video

Used by permission from The New American. Selwyn Duke (@SelwynDuke) has written for The New American for more than a decade. He has also written for The Hill, Observer, and The American Conservative, WorldNetDaily, American Thinker, and many other print and online publications. In addition, he has contributed to college textbooks published by Gale-Cengage Learning, has appeared on television, and is a frequent guest on radio.

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