Wife and Mother: The Most Valuable Career Choice
“Really? You used to be such a go-getter” was the response I got from a conservative woman after I told her I had given up my career to become a fulltime homemaker and mother. I was taken aback, in part because my husband and I were at a pro-life gala. I was 37 years old and had recently given birth to our second child just two years and two months after our wedding. Despite being happy with my decision and blessed to be financially able to do so, I must admit the words stung at the time.
Now, more than 20 years later, I am reminded of that exchange by the controversy over NFL player Harrison Butker’s graduation speech at Benedictine College that reignited the so-called ‘Mommy Wars’. How dare a man praise his wife who “would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother”?
Butker, the placekicker for the Super Bowl winning Kansas City Chiefs, gave a 20-minute address to the college graduates in which he called out weak leaders in both the Church and politics on a wide range of issues from COVID lockdowns, radical gender ideology, and DEI, to “abortion, IVF, surrogacy, euthanasia, . . . [and] growing support for degenerate cultural values in media.”
But it was his lauding the role of homemaker that has caused the feminists (both male and female) to lose their minds. Congratulating the ladies in the audience, Butker said, “I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. . .. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”
Maria Shriver, the NBC News anchor, blasted the message by tweeting, “I think it’s demeaning to women to imply that their choices outside of wife and motherhood pale into comparison to that of homemaker.”
Kansas City Star columnist Sam McDowell wrote, “Women listening in the audience, rather than being rewarded with a diploma on graduation day, were made to listen as he promoted the role of homemaker — not as an acceptable choice, but as their duty as a husband’s servant.”
The NFL’s chief diversity and inclusion officer felt the need to clarify that, “[h]is views are not those of the NFL as an organization.” One might wonder just what are the views of this league in which domestic violence and their pathetic response to football players beating up their girlfriends has been a a blind spot.
Over 216,000 people have signed a Change.org petition calling for the team to fire him over his “sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, anti-abortion and racist” comments that “reinforce harmful stereotypes that threaten social progress.”
Thankfully, not everyone on the left is condemning Butker. Whoopi Goldberg defended him on The View, “I like when people say what they need to say. He’s at a Catholic college, he’s a staunch Catholic. These are his beliefs and he’s welcome to them. . .. The same way we want respect when Colin Kaepernick takes a knee, we want to give respect to people whose ideas are different from ours . . .”
Even Bill Maher, who prefaced his remarks by stating that he and Butker couldn’t be more different in their views on faith, marriage, and children, said, “I don’t agree with much with this guy, but I don’t get the thing. . . . Like he’s saying some of you may go on to lead successful careers, but a lot of you are excited about this other way that people, everybody used to be. And now can’t that be a choice too?”
I am grateful that I had the opportunity to be a fulltime homemaker and made raising my three children my vocation for over 20 years. I relish every carpool, field trip, playdate, sports practice, scraped knee, homemade Halloween costume, piano lesson, and PTA meeting that was not only my obligation but my passion. As my youngest heads to college in the fall, I think I might even miss making her breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily.
Most of all, I am grateful that I have a husband who disagreed with the woman who implied I was no longer a “go-getter,” and reminded me every day that I had the most important job in the world for which he was eternally grateful.
I know he can relate to what Harrison Butker professed: “I’m . . . able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible . . . [because] my wife . . . embrace[s] one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.”
Returning to work “outside the home” as President of Eagle Forum has been a challenge and exhilarating at the same time. I’m thankful that our founder — and my mentor — Phyllis Schlafly said, “I started Eagle Forum to be a voice for the family against attempts to discredit the fulltime homemaker, and against undermining one of the fundamental building blocks of America’s foundation of prosperity and freedom: families with a mom and a dad.” This is why Eagle Forum yearly bestows the Eagle Forum Fulltime Homemaker Award to celebrate the value of the fulltime homemaker and her worthy contributions by providing a stable environment for teaching morals and values to the next generation.
I’ve run into that woman several times in the last year. Maybe she thinks that I’m once again a ‘go-getter’. But I know that I never stopped being one.
